we're watching the Chamber of Secrets, and my...
staticpoison: Oh my god she deserves a noble peace prize. OH MY GOD!
I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not...– Mitch Hedberg (via simko)
i don't know how i'm allowed to feel about this.
melissajuliette: Maybe it’s just been this week. cause this week was awfully terrible. and maybe it was awful for him too, and thats why he’s not in the mood to talk. or maybe it’s cause i didn’t answer and that was the last straw. or maybe he thinks i’m annoying. or maybe he doesn’t like me anymore. or maybe i made him sad. or maybe he doesn’t think i’m worth it.
Kissing booths are a cute way to raise money.
smilewideandlookalive: But I open up a blowjob booth and suddenly it’s “prostitution.”
I wonder how many people I have looked at all my life and never seen.– John Steinbeck, East Of Eden (via beautyisanillusion)
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.– Robert Frost (via cheesegasm)
That awkward moment when someone suggests that you...
shut the fuck up i’m working on it
imfamousontumblr: passing by hipsters in the street and whispering i know your tumblr url to scare them
kimyungsu asked: Add meh in pottermore. AshDust105 Slytherin for the win!!
there are tears in my eyes and I don't know why.
God, I hate being such a hormonal mess. Sometimes I feel like I’d take being horny 24/7 over these mood swings.
I doubt anyone looks at me and says "I wish she...
Reblog if you know this:
youllbetheonethatsavesme: voceefeitodoque: i just asked my 6 year old sister if she knew what this was a picture of… Me: “Sara! Come here please.” Sara: “Yes?” Me: “Do you know what this is?” Sara: “Um…… a picture of a chair.” Pray for the kids of this generation. Handy Dandy Notebook. With the Thinking Chair on it of course.
My oxymoron of a username is fireboltriver168. And you all should add me, otherwise I’ll just have to sit all lonely in my Harry Potter Slytherin corner.
Meet Mr. Friendzone.
Mr. Friendzone: Hi, my name is Mr. Friendzone
Me: Oh, hey. What do you do?
Mr. Friendzone: Well, y'know that girl that you totally dig like a prospector?
Me: That was a stupid analogy, but yeah, of course I do.
Mr. Friendzone: I'm going to make sure that you two never have a romantic relationship.
Me: Why would you do that?
Mr. Friendzone: Because I can.
Me: Oh, okay. You're an ass.
Mr. Friendzone: It's your fault. You didn't read her signs.
Me: Well, damn. I guess I'll go be sad now. See you later.
Reblog if you want your followers to ask you...
aweepingangel: get homework out of backpack reward self with 30 minutes of internet
Has anybody been watching the debates lately? You’ve got a governor whose state...– I had to check the news to make sure this quote was authentic (and it is) President Barack Obama (via fromrighttoleft)
All I ever wanted was to know what to do.– Dave Eggers (via loveyourchaos)